Venus of Schwarzenegger
My orchids are bloomin' lovely! I am Venus. The Venus of Willendorf. My New Year’s resolutions have gone adrift. I began with great determination and marked quite a few drink-free days off my calendar earlier this year, though not enough. I vowed to do 100 squats per day for a month. And I did. I did the first month and I felt great. So, I did a second month and felt like a superwoman. It was all going fine until around the three-month mark when my knees and hips started grating like—I read a brilliant description somewhere on Facebook—like a goat chewing on an aluminium can—and the pain got steadily worse. For the last three months, I have been crawling around. I go from groin strain to a stiff neck, to pains in the arches of my feet. Is this what old age is like? I even took a Covid test the other day, just to rule that out. It was negative, of course. So, it’s back to taking turmeric and ginger in large quantities. I hate my body, but I find joy in other things. For example, my...